Reflection

Sorry readers.... I'm been far too busy with family activities and holiday prep to be able to sit down and write.. but I'm back!

Well not back to my routine but back to have a small amount of time to post a hello on here.

I hope your holiday was wonderful and filled with great times with family and friends. I'm glad to say my time is not over but feels like its almost fully beginning. What i mean by this is the time i've spent with friends has been short, family has begun to be long. Not b/c i don't enjoy spending time with them but sometimes being a small space for a few days including trapped in a car can just get some small features having me pissed in over drive.

Happy to say everyone survived ;)

The past few days have opened my mind to a couple major things. One being life and age.

One of my great uncle's has had some bad health recently and has moved from his house into a assisted living situation. His family is busy trying to plan how to sell the house and what to do with belongings- and i couldn't help but think about how upsetting that must be for him. He has lived in this house for at least 40+ yrs and now suddenly it will be gone. His independence taken away and being forced into another situation- I wonder what he is thinking through this process.
It also got be thinking about how life is changing- not only am I getting older but everyone else is. I sometimes feel as though i am still a young girl in high school and forget not only my age but the things that I should maybe have accomplished by now.

Some of my cousins have bought houses, the beginnings of husbands and what am I doing? My mom already had me when she was my age and had been married for 3 years- had a house, car, family the whole nine yards. Where am I? The most expensive thing i own right now.. a bed my folks bought for me? a computer? Nothing of real value.. should I be planning for all this.

Ugh yet again comes the what am i doing with my life thought... something I just don't feel like dealing with right now.

What's more alarming in my head is the fact I by accident overheard my mom talking to my uncle discussing my dad's possible plans in the next few years- which include either doing a 9-month tour in africa or moving to a army base....both being brand new news to me! I was so upset that this has not even been brought to my attention yet but she is going around telling mild family members. Worst, this is the second time I was last to know about a huge family change- I wasn't told of my brother going to do a tour in afganistan till after he had gotten picked and signed the paper work- never told prior. I don't want to be the last one to find out again- dealing with something that major in my life is something I'm not ready to handle.

Ugh- too much to deal with. So it will all get pushed till after this week of holiday is over.

Till then be sure to party ;)




vb.